
Rowdy Gaines Gets Rowdy With Ronda Rousey
There is the only person in the world allowed to have the name Rowdy,
according to the U.S. Constitution. And that person is Rowdy Gaines,
former U.S. Olympic swimmer and medal winner and currently an NBC
color analyst for U.S. swimming events.
This is the essence of the argument filed in U.S. Federal District
Court today by the attorney for Rowdy Gaines. The criminal lawsuit
indicates that claiming the name of Rowdy yesterday by U.S. women’s
kickboxer and wrestler, Ronda Rousey, violates federal law.
According to the suit, “Rowdy is a very special name and has been
copyrighted by Rowdy Gaines since he realized he could financially
benefit by doing so as a star high school swimmer in southern
California. Ms. Rousey has no right to all of the sudden announce to
the word that her nickname is Rowdy. The game isn’t played that way.
Once a guy claims the name Rowdy and copyrights it, no one else can
use that name, not even in casual conversations, unless they are
referring to Rowdy Gaines.”
“This is totally bogus,” said Rousey in a prepared statement. “If I
want my nickname to be Rowdy, I should be allowed to use that name.
I’ve never even heard of this Rowdy Gaines clown. I read today on
NGSCSports that he’s a former swimmer and now swimming analyst. What a
lightweight. I challenge Rowdy Gaines to a kickbox match. If I win, me
and my fans get to use the name Rowdy Ronda Rousey whenever we want.”
Rowdy Gaines, who had to be interrupted from interviewing Michael
Phelps at the swimming legend’s home said he has never kickboxed but
would challenge Rowdy Ronda to a 100-meter butterfly swimming race. If
he wins, she can’t use the name Rowdy anymore, he said. If she wins,
he will then agree to have Michael Phelps kickbox against her.
“Michael Phelps wins at everything he does,” he said. “I am confident
he could out-kickbox Ronda because of his long torso and big
shoulders, which have been instrumental in enabling him to win 18
Olympic Gold Medals. Nobody can come along and just announce to the
world their nickname is Rowdy. I’m the only person in the world who is
allowed to be called Rowdy. If Ronda wants to contest this, I’m ready
to get really rowdy with her.”
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