Julian Edelman Poses Nude, Exposes Ugly Toes
On the cover of the latest issue of ESPN, The Magazine is a photo of New England Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman in the nude. In a Heisman Trophy-like pose, he looks as if he is fending off a defensive back and scampering down the sideline for a touchdown. The photos stand out because he doesn’t have any clothes on and you don’t see guys play football naked often.
In the cover story, Edelman reveals more than his skin. He admits his feet are ugly. So grotesque they are that he doesn’t even wear sandals or flip flops when he goes out in public. On his right foot festers a bunion. Is this guy Paul Bunyan? Is a bun a cinnamon roll topped with onions? Why isn’t Edelman’s name Paul or some other guy’s name instead Julian, a girl’s name? Or at least Julie is. Julie and Julian are close cousins.
This ugly feet theme smells eerie. Feet and the NFL have a sordid past. Former Bills and Jets quarterback talked about his foot fetish. The story had legs. It was prurient.
The magazine’s visual and literary misadventure stays with the skin and phalanges motif. It’s his fingers. They are broken. All of them.
Wait, is this really about nudity, toes, fingers, you, me, Belichick, or Brady? Or do all of us have a hand in this? Does Patriots owner Robert Kraft know about this photo of his star receiver? Does he like it? Does his wife like it? Who signed off on this?
What’s up with the Patriots and magazines lately? During this past week, we have been thrust into the private lives and physical attributes of Bill Belichick. The coach posed in preppy clothes with his girlfriend in Nantucket Magazine. And now Julian Edelman goes all buck nude Heisman winner on us. What’s next, Kraft wearing a thong and combat boots on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Tom Brady in a speedo on a starting block at a swimming pool rockin’ tan uggs?
They win a Super Bowl and then decide to pose in magazines without clothes on or being cozied up by their girlfriend. The only redeeming quality to the Edelman article is the bunion reference. The only redeeming quality to the Belichick photos would have been had one of the photos showed the nude Edelman posing with Belichick’s girlfriend, with Edelman showing off his bunion.
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