Staring at my laptop computer screen, I see ants crawling along as if I don’t know they’re there. They’ve invaded my computer. It feels like the opening scene of a twisted horror movie when, at the climactic final showdown, a dragon comes out of a guy’s PC keyboard and bites his head off, and then […]
Thirty-five Wake Forest fellas, a gang of eight of Sammy Sportface psychiatrists who will preside as expert witnesses, and Dr. Keith Ripley gather in Brad’s basement an hour before the start of the Rally on the Chesapeake. With some trepidation but a firm belief it’s the right thing to do, they organized an intervention of […]
You’re older than America. Life is slipping away. How can you slow down this full-throttle trip towards senility then six feet under? Do these five things in no particular order by March 26th, 2023: One: Once a week go to your local convenience store (Cumberland Farms, 7-Eleven, Cashions, etc.) and tell them you want to […]
We’ve all known for years that Sammy Sportface is tone-deaf, socially and emotionally unintelligent, doesn’t have a filter, and has poor judgment about what his readers are interested in and what turns them off. But Sportface plummeted to new lows in 2022, puking out disgusting, reprehensible, immature, sophomoric, and rancid content far more often than […]
Troy Jackson was a three-sport athlete in high school, which is impressive. But what’s more impressive is that he read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica as a kid – eleven times from start to finish. “I read the entire set from letter A to letter Z,” said Jackson, who grew up in a small town near […]
Puberty for most people is gradual. If you’re a typical young boy your voice starts to get deeper over a span of weeks or months. Little sprouts of hair start appearing under your arms and other nether-regional body parts becoming more bushy and unsightly over time. I had a different experience with puberty. I was […]
Searching for life’s meaning and a job in a new town where I didn’t know anyone, I entered a downtown brewery on some random side street. Seemed stylish enough, a speed networking event with some enterprising people in a relaxed atmosphere eating Nachos and guzzling root beer on the rocks. But this wasn’t the venue, […]
