The hip words all people are using these days begin with “un.” Classic example: “Hey, Sportface, let’s unpack why no one’s reading your blogs.”
“That’s unknown, bro,” said Sportface.
And this newest “un” question: “Hey Sportface, how come no media outlets you sent your new rap song to are responding with interest in writing a story about you, the Commanders/Salamanders, and the song? Is it because you’re being unrelenting pitching the story so they want to stay away from you?”
Let me unpack this for you. Because people don’t like to unleash reporters to do a story by a guy who submits a rap song and doesn’t know how to sing rap. They’re uninclined to get tricked into a cheap publicity stunt aimed at skyrocketing popularity overnight in a desperate ploy.
I am uncommonly uninspired by all the work put into that rap song that none of my DC Harry High School buds – especially Fred, Whit, and Rudy – are sharing with their friends all over the D.C. area. They apparently don’t want to unveil the fact that they know who I am. They want to un-do their relationships with me, and they see their lack of interest in sharing the rap song as a concrete way to unshackle and unburden and untie themselves from all things Sammy Sportface.
Too bad for them – the unified throngs of unappreciative – because when this whole thing gets unpacked this song will be the hottest thing going around Washington DC. The entire town will be singing the lyrics on the Metro all the way to Addison Road at the end of the Red Line close to H.D. Woodson High School where Sportface practiced for the McDonald’s Capitol Classic.
Count on this coming soon: impromptu dancing in the subways, down K Street, in front of the Old Ebbit Grill, at L’Enfant Plaza, and under Key Bridge.
Emotions being uncorked.
“Our quarterback, he be playin’,
Heisman Trophy Winner, I’m just sayin’.
Jayden will make defenders miss.
Blow DC fans a victory kiss.
Don’t be callin’ us Salamanders.
We are the Washington Commanders.”
Unpack that all you unwavering Salamanders.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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