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I don’t want to leave 2024 without one last look at this year. What stuck out? What moved our hearts? Who gave us hope? What surprised us? What did we not want to find out about but did because of Sammy Sportface’s editorial decisions?
So before the ball drops in New York City ushering in 2025, let’s poke around one last time for the allure of 2024. Begin counting them down, the Top 10 Stories of the Year.
Story Ten
In Sammy Sportface’s Worldosphere, the top stories of the year 2024 could be just about anything and we have to start with the supersonic appearance and disappearance of Sally Sportface. For a brief week or so Sammy Sportface claimed to be wandering outside seeking the meaning of his life and everybody else’s. While that wild and wayward search was underway, Sally Sportface filled in writing blogs on his behalf.
Didn’t last long. Sally wrote only two blogs and no one remembers what they were about including Sammy Sportface who wrote them. The trouble was Sportface couldn’t stand the thought that Sally ripped off his online content real estate so he quickly booted her off stage so he could ham it up like he always does for his mushrooming fan base.
The meteoric rise and fall of Sally Sportface will be a story to covet decades from now when the story of Sammy Sportface gets compiled and archived on microfiche film in Washington, D.C.’s Library of Congress.
Story Nine
When Dickie Wolf showed up for Booze Crooze Five last July, it became obvious he and Sportface had to break down their entire lives to each other because they hadn’t spoken since high school and even then the conversations were never substantive. During the Crooze oozing with booze, they talked about life in 2024 and what it all means and both felt a bromance brewing as they stood at the tiki bar in Bethany. Whit stood nearby, beverage in hand, inhaling cigs.
On the boat ride back the fellas weighed whether Dickie should have been 7th or 6th on the “All Time Biggest Jerks List” Sportface released a few years ago that triggered debate. We all agreed the 7th felt about right.
Story Eight
The day Sportface went for a bike ride with Cuz Squee was remarkable for one thing: the butt pain he felt after four miles out by the Starboard in Dewey Beach. Cuz said: “Wanna go to the bridge?” referring to the Indian River Bridge seven miles down the lonely and desolate Ocean Highway. At that moment Sportface had to concede his Cuz was a tougher human being than he was. Worse psychologically he had to admit the reason was because he went to Georgetown Prep and played football for Coach Jim Fegan who taught him to always extend his physical endurance to the point of exhaustion.
“I will regret to my grave I didn’t go to Georgetown Prep,” said Sportface as Cuz took off for the bridge like Lance Armstrong on steroids.
Sportface turned around and rode the bike meekly while trying not to sit because it felt like butcher knives jabbing into his rump.
“Man my butt hurts,” said Sportface. “Had I gone to Georgetown Prep I would have higher pain tolerance.”
Story Seven
There were a few blogs about Sportface’s visits to the dentist, orthodontist, and endodontist. All of them got graphic. We learned all about the inside of Sportface’s mouth. It wasn’t pleasant to write or read about. But we did it because, well, for no good reason. We didn’t have to go through that.
Story Six
The new pop band, Crash Adams, crashed into our blogosphere this year. This is the best new band to hit the world in ten years. Go ahead, argue with me. Tell me that’s an overstatement just to grab attention. Act all cool like you know good music because you’re worldly, but you don’t know more music than Sportface. I don’t like musical elitists who invariably say any song I like isn’t good and it’s because they’re afraid their manhood is threatened by admitting they like a pop song.
“Yo, Dylan, man, the Doors man, you don’t know anything about good music, man, because you’re not cool like me, man,” said every guy I know. “Elvis Costello, man. The Clash. Dude, your music taste is lame.”
Crash Adams cranks out banging tunes.
Story Five
Belichick becoming the UNC coach will go down as the most embarrassing move the university has ever made. They want power, fame, money, and better players. No one is impressed by that.
Other than this, I don’t have a strong opinion about it.
Story Four
The greatest single quarter of basketball ever played occurred this year in the series between the Denver Nuggets and Minnesota Timberwolves. Everything The Joker did the entire quarter was perfect: the shots, passes, rebounds. After the game, I started calling my friends and family to tell them I had just witnessed the best 12 minutes of basketball ever. All of them were asleep and disinterested, but it didn’t matter because they needed to be aware of this all-time historic display of basketball-playing perfection. In 1969 or so my Dad woke up all six kids to watch on TV the first man walking on the moon. Joker’s excellence in that third quarter was more impressive than any man walking the moon in ‘69 or any other time it happened.
Nothing this year gave me more forearm chills than The Joker in that game. If it was feasible, I would hang out with him every minute the rest of my life.
Story Three
You probably browsed past this story so I wanted to get it back in your queue because it was a big moment. It occurred in Bradley Airport in Hartford, CT when I slept all night on a couch to be on time for a 6 am flight after a day of watching Wake Forest beat UConn in football.
To make the story more disconcerting, I wrote that I used my sleep apnea machine in the airport so I could breathe smoothly through the night.
That didn’t happen. I just included it so you would wonder why I would do that and wonder if someone saw me doing it and wonder why I would write about this.
Sometimes Sammy Sportface makes things up and we all are just going to have to accept this. I know it’s not ideal but life isn’t a straight line.
Story Two
It seems bodily functions and habits became a major theme in 2024. Besides blogs about my teeth, I pumped one out about things we shouldn’t think about while in the shower but do.
I wrote about not rinsing soap from under my left armpit because it’s arduous to lift my arm. Idea Man shared that he takes blazing-fast showers because he imagines he’s in the Navy and needs to get out fast to be inspected by a commanding officer. Idea Man is quirky that way.
The shower – we all get it in. The shower – we all think about different things while in there. The shower – where we sing and clean up and get ready to face life. The shower – where we are all alone to reflect and wonder about the mysteries of life.
The shower – a place to be ourselves.
Story One
No story this year captivated all 6.8 billion living humans more than Caitlin Clark’s basketball achievements. This girl from Iowa grew up, practiced her shot, became great, and broke Pistol Pete Maravich’s all-time college scoring record. No one thought that record would ever be broken.
Caitlin Clark Kent busted it.
The entire sports world became second fiddle to whatever she did all year long. The men’s college basketball tournament didn’t have the allure of CC carrying her team to the Final Four.
Men’s sports, we learned this year, aren’t as compelling as Caitlin Clark. Let me type that one more time so it sinks in: Men’s sports, we learned this year, aren’t as compelling as Caitlin Clark.
A woman took over the sports world. Not a man. Not a man. Not a man.
A woman.
I don’t think any of us could have imagined how massive this Logo 3-bombing superstar would become in just one year. Entering the year, we knew she would be good. We didn’t know an entire nation of Americans from kids to grandparents would become fascinated with how she shoots, how she behaves, the way she lifts us all up.
She gave us hope. And gives us hope.
No one did that anywhere close to the level Caitlin Clark did in 2024. Let’s hope she keeps this hopeful streak alive in 2025.
Something tells me she will.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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