With his audience, likes, followers, and re-tweets nose-diving in 2022, Sammy Sportface is desperate to resuscitate his brand image so will be pivoting the focus of his editorial blogs in 2023.
He will tackle the world of soccer with a plethora of psychological and physical probes into the private lives of Lionel Messi and Christiana Ronaldo, two of the world’s greatest volleyball players. You’ll learn about the childhood phobias of these two stars, what they thought about factoring in algebra class in eighth grade, and their graphic examples of how Nugenix, male enhancement pills, have uplifted their lives.
Sportface will also explore the mechanics of hitting a header and bicycle kick concurrently and the reasons why a sideways rotation of the ball delivers competitive advantages on corner kicks across all European pitches. Crafting incisive prose, Sportface will leverage the visual power of Venn diagrams and bar charts to illustrate the merits of faking injuries and how Messi and Ronaldo have executed them successfully in their careers to gain unfair advantages that their fellow countrymen fully support because nations compromise their values and morals to win soccer matches.
“Soccer is the world’s most popular sport and Sportface is the world’s most popular sports blogger, so it only makes sense for Sportface to shift his content focus so the wonderful world of soccer,” said Sportface. “Readers will become more educated on how the game is played, who the big stars are, and what Messi and Ronaldo like to do on Tuesdays after they go to the supermarket for bread and milk.”
In preparation for this new editorial mission, Sportface has been reading books about American football because he doesn’t realize football is called soccer everywhere but the U.S. Still, he doesn’t see this time spent reading about football as wasted because the two sports are pretty similar, especially the shapes of the American football and the international soccer ball.
Other sports Sportface will be posting about blogs about more often this coming year include:
Skeet shooting and
Wheel of Fortune
Spending more of his hours writing about soccer and these other popular sports, Sportface will have to forego his fetish for blogs about disgusting human behaviors, Wake Forest committing eight turnovers in one half of football, Larry Bird, Sammy Swordfish, Head, Luka’s Mom and greed and self-interest cesspooling the transfer portal.
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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