Brady

Brady’s Video Screens Mysteriously Shut Down at Supermodel Tent

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At his Cirque de Sportface tent packed with 77 supermodels, Tom Brady studies on his every-present humungous flat-screen game films of the Kansas City Chiefs. Suddenly, the screen goes dark.

“What happened to my connection?” asks Brady. “I have to watch game film. The Super Bowl is less than a week away.”

A character looking like Maximilian Zorin is seen over at the punk pass and kick venue handing a vanilla package to Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid. He won the contest when he was 12 and three times bigger than all other contestants. 

The Zorin lookalike character then disappears from sight amid the millions of people partying day and night.

Out in the Gulf of Mexico, Bill Walton and Ricky Williams deep-sea fish and smoke weed.

“I haven’t been this high since the Grateful Dead world tour in 1982,” said Walton. “I went to every Dead concert on that tour, from East to West, North, and South, on all seven continents, and was higher than a cumulus cloud the entire time.”

Ricky’s watching his fishing line seeing if there’s any tug on it. He’s hoping to catch a whale today and several great white sharks. But something’s distracting him.

“There’s this weird thing going on over at my pirate ship in Raymond James Stadium,” says Ricky. “There’s this guy who kind of looks like the Pepsi soda delivery man who keeps hauling more stuff into the man cave basement of the ship. Yesterday I saw him bringing in pallets full of Dulcolax tablets.”

“Laxatives, huh?” asks Bill rhetorically. “I would use one of them right now because I’m feeling seasick. Not that I mind. Seasickness is yet another one of those great gifts life gives us if we’re just willing to be open to it and let it fly through us.”

Back in the Tampa Bay harbor adjacent to Cirque de Sportface, Chief quarterback Patrick Mahomes has docked his 900-foot yacht. The quarterback, who landed a $475 million contract earlier this year, proclaims his plans to buy the state of Florida. This would add to his recent purchases of the Atlantic Ocean and several other U.S. states.

“I figure Florida will be good to own no matter if we win the Super Bowl or not,” he says. “It’s got South Beach and Daytona Beach and plenty of palm trees and Disney characters.”

Over in the heart of the circus activities, the bearded lady chats it up with James Harden. You can tell they’re debating which one has the bigger and more attractive beard.

Directly across from the beards, Elon Musk sets up his rocket exhibition tent. Hundreds of people line up to be shot into the sky by the rockets. This new craze was inspired yesterday by Forrest Gump rocketing himself across the entire state to kick off the Cirque de Sportface antics.

Participants have the option to be shot across the state into the Atlantic Ocean, down to South Beach in Miami, or up to Disney World and land in front of Cinderella’s Castle.

Sammy Sportface gets a call.

“Good news, Sportface,” says Roger Goddess. “As a gesture of the NFL’s appreciation for all you’ve done to enhance the NFL in this unusual season, we’ve decided to switch out the name Super Bowl LV to Super Bowl SS in homage to you, Sammy Sportface.”

“Is this you buttering me up so I don’t tell everybody you smoked weed with Ricky Williams, Kraft, and Belichick multiple times this year?” Sportface asked.

“Of course I have a vested interest in you treating me well and keeping my transgressions under wraps,” said Goddess. “Hey, are the Fez still on to rock the Earth to its core during the half-time show next Sunday?”

“They’re still on,” says Sportface. “As far as I know.”

From the tent section for musicians and stoners, the Fez then crank out this tune:

To be continued…

Sammy Sportface

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Sammy Sportface

Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here: Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
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Author Profile

Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:

Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out

Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page

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