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Maniacal Winter Olympics Preview
One thing you can be sure of, in the Nordic Combined and other cross-country
skiing events at the upcoming Winter Olympics, the winners
will be from one of three countries: Norway, Finland or maybe
Switzerland. This happens every Winter Olympics. The athletes from
those countries have hearts that can endure the pain and have the
aerobic capacity to ski for many miles across tough terrain faster and
for greater distances than athletes from Australia, the United States,
and Bolivia.
So if you are hoping to see Americans win medals at these games, it
won’t happen in cross country skiing.
Victory won’t happen in hockey either. The U.S. hockey team will lose
to Canada, of course, because Canada rules the world of hockey.
One thing’s for sure about the speed skating. You will see a wide
assortment of competitors with abnormally large thighs. You simply
can’t be good at speed skating if you don’t have big thighs. The
Americans will struggle to win medals in these events. Look for the
medal winners to come from places such as The Netherlands, Germany,
Canada, and maybe Sweden. The team with the most blonde-haired skaters
will be from Sweden although it won’t be obvious while they’re skating
because skaters cover their heads with a hoodie cap during races. When
the races are over they will take off their caps and you will see the
blonde haired Swedes and that will be cool.
The greatest Olympic moment in speed skating occurred some 30 years
ago when America’s Eric Heiden – whose thighs were enormous – won five
gold medals. Many of you reading this won’t remember Heiden or his
thighs because you were too young or just don’t remember, but trust
me, it was one of the coolest things ever to see an American win five
gold medals in speed skating.
The best speed skating name of all time has to go to America’s Bonnie
Blair, who competed and won medals within the past 20 years.
For those of you who like to watch maniacal behavior, be sure to check
out the ski jump competition where men and women ski down a steep hill
and launch themselves into the air like airplanes, seeking to fly as
far as they can before landing. You will also like checking out the
mogul’s competition, where skiers ski down a very bumpy hill and risk
tearing their anterior cruciate ligaments. Orthopedic surgeons will be
camped out at this venue.
Then there’s the event where skiers go down a hill, ski up a
platform, and then do flips and twists in the air before landing. This
is another event laced with the risk of falling and getting injured. So is
the half-pipe snowboard competition that Sean White always wins. The
contestants shoot themselves into the air and do flips and twists and
sometimes crash into the walls, making it riveting to watch.
At the ice skating venue, be sure to check out the ice dancing
competition. This is more than just skating, it’s dancing on skates.
It’s kind of having to walk and chew gum at the same time. Not
everybody can do it.
As always, there will be plenty of controversy at the ice skating rink
usually involving cases of judges from certain countries giving higher
or lower scores to skaters based on which country they are from.
Nationalistic pride will take over and the desire by the judges to
give a good score to a member of their country will be irresistible.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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