{"id":56512,"date":"2023-04-23T08:57:35","date_gmt":"2023-04-23T12:57:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ngscsports.com\/?p=56512"},"modified":"2023-04-23T08:57:58","modified_gmt":"2023-04-23T12:57:58","slug":"fat-sucka-falls-for-grass-cutting-con","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ngscsports.com\/2023\/04\/23\/fat-sucka-falls-for-grass-cutting-con\/","title":{"rendered":"Fat Sucka Falls for Grass-Cutting Con"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n \t<\/i> Read Time:<\/span>1 Minute, 39 Second <\/div>\n\n <\/div>

Today while drawing Venn diagrams as part of my typical brainstorming before writing a Sammy Sportface blog<\/a>, I was rudely interrupted \u2013 yet again \u2013 by the ferocious roar of four lawnmowers running pell-mell in my yard.<\/p>\n

The grass cutters were back. Every three days they come by unannounced and cause county-wide noise pollution and cut my grass in six minutes.<\/p>\n

This time I had couldn\u2019t stand it anymore, being taken, being abused, feeling powerless and attacked, and headed toward bankruptcy.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, no cut grass today. No need. You cut 3 days ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe cut grass,\u201d said one of the four grass-cutters all of whom were born someplace in South America. \u201cWe cut bush. We cut tree. We cut flower.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo cut grass,\u201d I say. \u201cGrass already cut. You no cut. No cut flower.\u201d<\/p>\n

The South American quartet pay me no mind. They keep cutting as if I\u2019m not even there, as if I had not said anything to them.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho asked you to cut grass?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou wife. She tell us to cut.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid she tell you to do it every three days?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe say cut grass.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s your boss?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all boss,\u201d one says. \u201cHey, Fat Man, you got watta? Need four glasses. Full glass.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWatta for whatta? It takes you six minutes to cut my grass. That can\u2019t make you thirsty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGet us watta, Fat Man. You too fat to cut grass and flower.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat country you from?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe Americanos.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAmericano isn\u2019t a country.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe cut grass. We cut flowers.\u201d<\/p>\n

The mowing stops. They\u2019re done. I get handed another invoice for their services. It will go on top of the stack of unpaid invoices from the Americanos.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sucka,\u201d he says. \u201cYou stupid American.\u201d<\/p>\n

The four climb in their truck and drive away, all giggling. They yell out the windows.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sucka. You stupid American. You stupid Fat Man. Ha Ha. We come back three days. Ha Ha Ha.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Today while drawing Venn diagrams as part of my typical brainstorming before writing a Sammy Sportface blog, I was rudely interrupted \u2013 yet again \u2013 by the ferocious roar of… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":56514,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1713],"tags":[8075,8073,2229,8074,2365],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nFat Sucka Falls for Grass-Cutting Con<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fat Sucka Falls for Grass-Cutting Con. 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